there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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