My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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