You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
