yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
