What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
