these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
