shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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