fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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