if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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