she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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