For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize