PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
