I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
