I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
