Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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