it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
