Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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