Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize