Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
