She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
