I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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