I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
