In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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