We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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