This dress was meant to end up on your floor
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
