i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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