I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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