we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
