she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
