it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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