super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
