my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
