there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
