i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
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I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
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if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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