Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
