Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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