i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
