why didn't you poke me back
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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