I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
