I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
