Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
