I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
