yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
