My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize