Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
