Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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