But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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