I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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