whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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