Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can't motorboat a personality
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
