my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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