Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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