Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
