she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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