It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
