But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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