I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
