Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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