look no pants
only if we run a train.
done.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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